1 Peter 5:7 (BSB)
“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”
I thought I knew what this verse meant until I did a word study on it this morning. It’s a pretty basic verse, and my original understanding about this verse wasn’t wrong. But the meaning of this verse is so much deeper than what it seems when I just read it on the surface.
But first, a little background.
This morning, as per usual, I woke up in the 3 AM hour. Now, if I wake up during this hour, it’s usually right at 3 AM, or at 3:30 AM. Occasionally 3:33. I’ve done this throughout my lifetime, and when I used to wake up during this time, I was always terrified for reasons I couldn’t understand. And I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I would just lay there, my heart pounding in my throat. But when the dissociative walls started to crumble and I started to remember more about my life, I realized that there were some pretty bad things that happened during that hour, which is why I kept waking up, terrified. It’s only been recently in the past several months, that I can wake up during this time now and not feel terror. In fact, I usually use that time to just talk to God.
Sometimes, yeah, terror is knocking at the door. Okay… sometimes it’s banging at the door. But I have learned to put my focus on my Heavenly Father and simply pray to Him.
Cast my anxiety on Him, in other words.
So this morning when I woke up, it was about 3:45 or so. Closer to four, so just knowing that helped me already feel more okay than not. But I still used the time to pray to my Father. While praying, I became aware of a flurry of activity in my system.
Now, let me pause here for a moment: yes, I still struggle with a dissociative disorder. Yes, I still have an inside system, and yes, I am able to become aware of what is happening on the inside without even trying to become aware. Think of anything else you do in life: you may be cooking, for instance, and someone knocks on the door, and you are aware of it. You don’t have to stop cooking in order to realize that someone is knocking on the door, because you have awareness of many different things all at once. This is the same way of how living me is like: I will be going about my own business in life, not thinking about the inside at all, but if something significant happens on the inside of my system, then I am instantly aware of it. I was always this way, until my 13th birthday, when my system shattered and I was pushed out. Gradually, over the course of several months, I forgot all about the inside and had very little conscious awareness of the different parts of me. But now that I am once again aware of the fact that I have a system, when something happens on the inside, I am instantly aware of it without even trying to be.
Yes, there are some who have spoken negatively about me because I still have a dissociative disorder. And yes, there are some who would say that since I am still struggling in this area, that I am unqualified to write the type of blog that I write with Carolyn. And yes, I would agree. I don’t feel qualified to answer anyone’s questions, yet I do my best to help answer them anyway. Why? Two reasons, the second being the most important:
1. I am helping Carolyn.
2. Since God delivered me from “deliverance counseling” and showed me (and continues to show me) what true deliverance looks like, and showed me what sort of awful witchcraft I had been involved in, He urged me to write the book with Carolyn and start this blog with her. Through the process of writing the book, I fought this calling on a nearly daily basis, and I still struggle with it. Surely there are more qualified people out there who could write even better things than I, and since they have a wider audience and more people listen to them, surely they would be much more effective than I! In fact, I can think of many people who could do this better than I could. But the truth is, those very people who may be more qualified, and who have a bigger audience, and who have the credentials that I don’t have, and who know the truth behind what Carolyn and I talk about when we speak about the doctrines of demons that have taken over Christianity… aren’t doing it. In many cases, they are still caught up in doctrines of demons themselves, without even recognizing it. So since God said, “do it,” then here I am: fighting my own fears and insecurities, but still doing it to the best of my ability.
So now that that is out of the way, back to the topic…
While I was praying this morning, I became aware of some activity in a specific area of my system that had been programmed by the man I simply call “Dr. A.” So I did what I always do now, and I surrendered to my Heavenly Father, praying a very modest and unpretentious prayer: “Heavenly Father, I’m not sure what’s going on, but whatever is happening, I submit myself to you, I submit every part of me to You, and I submit this activity to You. I ask that You take care of it in whatever way is in accordance to Your will.”
Then I didn’t worry about it any longer, and I continued talking to God. Before I fell asleep, I took a quick peek inside, and sure enough: the entire area was being dismantled. This was a feat that was supposed to have been accomplished through “deliverance counseling,” but, of course, nothing actually ever got better in this type of counseling; it only got more complicated and caused more upheaval. Not surprising to me now, of course, since I have realized that this type of “counseling” is based on common occult doctrines (doctrines of demons), and is not Biblical at all.
And so this morning, I was reminded of this verse: “Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”
I was filled with thanksgiving and joy because I realized that my Father really cares for me. He cares! And He helps me. All I have to do is submit to Him and be obedient to His Word. In fact, He even helps me in those areas, because I frequently struggle with submission and obedience. So even in this, He cares enough to help me, and I am never alone, trying to do this “thing” on my own. This thing called “life,” this thing called “healing,” this thing called “submission and obedience” — none of it is done by my own strength, but by His.
But it got better, because when I did a word study on this verse, here is what I found:
Definition: care, worry, anxiety.
“properly, a part, separated from the whole; (figuratively) worry (anxiety), dividing and fracturing a person’s being into parts.”
Definition: I throw (cast) (upon), as of cares.
Thayer’s Greek Lexicon:
“to cast upon, give up to, God.”
Definition: it is a care, it is an object of anxiety, it concerns.
“to care about (be concerned with), especially paying attention (giving thought) to – i.e. “taking an interest”
Short Definition: about, concerning, around
“properly, all-around (on every side); encompassing, used of full (comprehensive) consideration where “all the bases are covered””
So the meaning of this verse can be read as follows:
“Give up to God all of the anxiety that has divided and fractured your being into parts, because He has has surrounded you on all sides with His care, attention, and interest, and He’s got all the bases covered.”
Your Heavenly Father cares for you! 🙂
I hope you have a blessed day,